Welcome to the FAD website.
Please take a moment to register.
Once you are logged in, you will see the area to RSVP to our social events.

A limited collection of terminology you may hear at FAD, but by no means a complete (or "official") BDSM dictionary! 

 

  • 24/7: Term used to describe a full time relationship covering 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
  • Animal Play: fantasy play in which one partner is an animal trainer and the other is the animal. Pony play and puppy play are the two most popular forms.
  • BDSM: The acronym BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage and Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sadism and Masochism.
  • Bestiality: Sexual contact between humans and animals.
  • Blood sports: A group of techniques in which the sub's skin is cut or punctured.
  • Body service: when a submissive takes care of all the dominant's bodily needs, acting as a trained servant in bathing, shaving, hair-styling, manicures, pedicures, and other hygiene and grooming rituals.
  • Body worship: massage and oral service (including licking, sucking and kissing) by a submissive to the Dominant.
  • Bondage: A group of techniques for rendering a submissive physically helpless with rope or restraints.
  • Bottom: person who receives pain or bondage in an SM scene, but who may or may not have a power relationship with the Dominant.
  • Breath Play: a form of edge play in which the Dominant restricts the sub's ability to breathe, either by constricting the neck or by blocking the mouth or nose.
  • CBT: Cock and Ball Torture - Intense stimulation of the male sex by bondage and or utensils.
  • CD: Cross Dresser; Someone (usually male), who finds emotional and/or erotic gratification wearing opposite- sex clothing. Not necessarily interested in 'looking the part' but more interested in the of wearing the 'wrong' clothes.
  • Collared: Term used to say that someone wearing a collar belongs or is owned by a Dominant.
  • Contract: A written agreement about the rights and duties of the D/s partners. Those contracts do not have any meaning in terms of law, but they are often used to define the relationship.
  • Discipline: Spanking, whipping etc.
  • DM: Dungeon Monitor. Someone who is placed in charge of the dungeon or scene for safety. Usually CPR and first aid trained and certified.
  • Dom: A Dominant, usually male, but not always. Usually pronounced like the first syllable in 'dominant'.
  • Domme: A Dominant Female. Usually pronounced like 'Dom May'.
  • Dungeon: Any space set aside for SM activity, public or private, and furnished with some SM equipment.  
  • Edge play: Activities some or most consider which usually includes blood sports and breath play and fire play.
  • Electroplay: Using electrical devices for stimulation.
  • Fem Dom: short for 'Female Dominant'.
  • Fisting: Penetration of the vagina or anus using the fist or hand.
  • Foot worship: Activities might include oral service (licking, kissing, sucking), massage or care of feet.
  • Forced Feminization: the "forcing" of a submissive man into feminine clothes.
  • Golden Shower: A humiliation technique where the Dominant urinates on the submissive.
  • Leather Community: began as the gay kink community, but now means the kink community in general. The leather refers to the fact that most kinksters enjoy wearing leather as fetish clothing.
  • Lifestyle: An individual who has adopted BDSM as a main tenant in their life.
  • Limits: The basic set of physical or other limits that the submissive sets during negotiation.
  • Masochism: The ability to derive pleasure from receiving pain.
  • Mind Fuck: Deliberately misleading a partner into believing something horrible is about to happen.
  • Munch: A discreet social gathering of BDSM people, usually in a restaurant, with the people dressed in "regular clothing".
  • Mummification: A form of bondage where the submissive is wrapped up completely.  
  • Negotiation: The art and science of reaching a clear, consensual agreement with your adult partner about the type of relationship you will have and the kinds of kinky things you will do together.
  • OTK: Over The Knee spanking.
  • Out: To reveal someone of the kink community to the 'outside' world. Even today, people can loose their jobs, status and even families id their kink is known. PLEASE practice discretion.
  • Pain Slut: A masochist with a high threshold for pain.
  • Pain threshold: The limit at which pain ceases to be pleasure and becomes undesirable for the submissive.
  • Panty training: This is when a Dominant "forces" a male submissive to wear panties and other embarrassing bits of feminine lingerie, both to cross-dress and humiliate him.
  • Percussion play: Spanking, paddling, slapping, whipping, flogging and caning are all types of percussion play.
  • Play-partner: Generally refers to anyone with whom one has BDSM encounters but more specifically implies a casual, for-kinky-sex only friendship and not a committed, romantic relationship.
  • Power Exchange: The consensual transfer of power by the submissive to the Dominant.
  • Protector: A protector is one who is entrusted with the care of another's sub/slave - A protector is also one who will take the place of the Mistress at any function the Mistress cannot attend.
  • R/L or R/T: Real life or real time.  
  • Sadism: The ability to derive pleasure from giving pain.
  • Safe, Sane and Consensual: All activity between adults should be "safe" (no form of pain or stimulation that causes harm), "sane" (with respect for both body and mind), and consensual (all partners involved are adults who are able to give informed consent).
  • Safeword: A word, phrase or sign the participants agree on which means all play has to stop immediately when this sign is given. The most common safeword is the system of traffic light colors. Green means go, Yellow means getting close to a limit, Red means all play stops.
  • SAM: Smart Ass Masochist; a bottom or submissive who likes to verbally tease and otherwise act feisty with a Dominant, usually in hopes of a little extra discipline.
  • Scat: Feces.
  • Slave: A person who gives the control to another. A slave is usually, but not always, more service oriented than a submissive and usually, but not always, has a deeper need to be owned.
  • Spanking: The application of stimuli with canes, whips, paddles, crops or even the bare hand which, outside of a scene, would be considered painful.
  • Submissive (sub): A person who gives the control to another. A submissive is usually, but not always, less service oriented than a slave and usually, but not always, has a lesser need to be owned.
  • subspace: A state of mind and body, often like a trance that submissive or slave will enter during or after a scene.
  • Switch: A person who switches roles between submissive and Dominant.
  • Top: A Dominant Male or Female. Usually considered to be a 'lighter' version of a Domme or Mistress as far as relationship and power exchange is concerned.
  • TPE: Total Power Exchange.
  • Toilet slave: Someone who has a fetish for role playing as the Dominant's toilet.
  • Trainer: A trainer is one who teaches the sub/slave new skills. Not necessarily the sub/slave's Mistress.
  • TS: Transsexual; Someone who believes s/he was born in the wrong-sex body, and often seeks to make physical changes.
  • TV: Transvestite; Someone (usually male), who finds emotional and/or erotic gratification wearing opposite- sex clothing. Usually interested in 'looking the part'.
  • Vanilla: Non-kink related things.
  • Watersports: A humiliation technique where the Dominant urinates on the submissive.
  • Wax Play: A technique where the Dominant drips hot wax on the submissive's skin.
  • WIITWD: An acronym meaning 'What It Is That We Do".